Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Alrighty. Alrighty. Welcome back to another episode to argue this another solo week.
[00:00:09] Probably be, you know, solo. Like Tron is with his kid right now, so I'm gonna let him and, you know, his kid have, you know, the winter break and be able to enjoy each other's company.
[00:00:24] But yeah, this week I'm just gonna. About drivers on the road. You know, I am a truck driver. I've been a truck driver for the past ten goddamn years.
[00:00:34] And I, I feel like there's a lot of people that should not be on the road. There's a lot of people out there that should, you know, lose their license. If you are too goddamn old and you crash whoopty doo, you lost three months of your life and you caused a family to lose theirs. I feel like, you know, we should, as a, you know, society, be able to take away the licenses from old people. They're not in a hurry, you know, and, you know, to compensate them for this fact, I feel like there should be, you know, free transportation to get them to the things that they want to get to within reason.
[00:01:17] You know, like if they need to get to a doctor's appointment, go. Want to go to the yoga, go to the gym, I don't care.
[00:01:26] Go to whatever bullshit they want to do. Yeah, we, we should be able to accommodate that within reason, but we should take away their license. Absolutely.
[00:01:42] Also, like, if you cannot read English, if you have no idea what our street signs mean, if you don't know what the speed signs mean, you, you, you shouldn't be able to drive.
[00:01:54] Like, I, I personally believe, like, if I go to another country and I can't read any of their signs, do not let me drive.
[00:02:01] Like, that should just be plain and simple.
[00:02:07] But yeah, I mean, like, we'll, we'll allow people, you know, here all the goddamn time, give them CDLs even and be like, yeah, go for it.
[00:02:17] Like, the, the amount of times I, I've, you know, pulled up to a gas pump and like, there's like, just some dude that has no idea how to even pump his gas is crazy to me. He's in a commercial vehicle.
[00:02:32] He can't communicate. He just like points at it and he like, you know, throws up his hands. He's like, you know, says something in a different language. I'm like, okay, you need to get off the road.
[00:02:44] Well, and I don't think that's like a racist thing to say.
[00:02:49] You know, if you are sitting here like, you, you might be a good driver. I've met a lot of you know, foreign drivers. Actually, you know, Europe has some of the best drivers.
[00:03:01] You know, I would love them here, but learn how to raid. Learn, learn how to operate all of our stuff and then, yeah, absolutely, get on the road and do your thing.
[00:03:17] You know, like, I had to, you know, go through all my. To get my cdl.
[00:03:25] But yeah, I mean, that, that's simply what that is.
[00:03:28] Like, I, I've met people.
[00:03:31] What the mochi?
[00:03:34] Go, go do something else.
[00:03:39] But like, yeah, I've met people on the road wanting to chain up and they can't speak any English.
[00:03:49] I've met people at fuel pumps, you know, all across America.
[00:03:54] No idea.
[00:03:57] And, and I shouldn't be able to go to China. I shouldn't be able to go to Croatia. I shouldn't be able to go to any other country in the world, drive until I can know all of their road rules, you know, be able to pass their local driver test and know how everything works.
[00:04:23] Yes, Mo, I know. You're just such a cute cat, such a cutie. I know.
[00:04:30] I also feel like if you have an rv, if you have like one of these giant fucking, you know, huge homes on wheels, you know, you're not impressing anybody.
[00:04:40] You're one of these pieces of shit out here that fucking, you know, gets moshi.
[00:04:47] Seriously, find a happy spot or, you know, fuck off.
[00:04:51] Yes, you're purring very loud. But yeah, if you have like one of these RVs and you're hauling it around and it's like a 50, 53 foot RV, you're not in a goddamn hurry. You're on vacation.
[00:05:04] A hundred percent. You are on vacation.
[00:05:07] You know, relax. Like, these are like the biggest assholes I'll see on the entire fucking road. They'll like race to get in front of you and then go up a hill, fucking doing 25 miles an hour, having no idea what the rules of the road, you know, for your local jurisdiction even are.
[00:05:26] I hate these goddamn people.
[00:05:29] And you know, every once in a while, every once in a great blue moon, will one of them be like, okay, you're acceptable, but you don't have to have a CDL. You can just hook up a 53 foot trailer to your Ford F250.
[00:05:45] You know, I'm just like, oh, I guess I'm gonna go.
[00:05:49] And there's like a, a old movie. It's not that old. It's called rv and it's with Robin Williams, I believe.
[00:06:00] And he's just like a dad that goes out and rents an RV to, you know, Give his family a whole adventure.
[00:06:06] And he up, like right out the gate, he's like, oh, we're all going to an rv.
[00:06:11] You know, hits his trash cans, has no idea how anything works.
[00:06:17] And that's how most of the people in RVs are. They have no idea how anything works.
[00:06:26] And then they'll crash their, you know, all over the place. I'm like, oh, no. It's like, guess what? Now your vacation's over. You're out a hundred thousand dollars and you're so.
[00:06:41] Honestly, I feel like if you want to have an rv, if you want to have any trailer whatsoever, you should have to a, get a cdl, you know, or get, you know, they should just change it to like a large vehicle license and, you know, B, you know, prove that you have the vehicle to be able to tow what you're towing. You can't, you know, go get like a 80,000 pound RV and be like, oh, I'm going to for, you know, tow it with my Ford F150.
[00:07:10] It's like, yeah, that's not going to work.
[00:07:14] Because I have seen people hauling an rv, followed by a trailer, followed by a boat, and I'm not joking.
[00:07:21] And this shit was swerving all over the road. A huge danger and hazard to everyone around.
[00:07:30] But they got to where they needed to go, you know, but possibly at the cost of somebody else's life. Fuck you.
[00:07:39] You know, get the proper licenses and, you know, they should have to come into the roadside inspections with us.
[00:07:45] I feel like that'd be kind of cool.
[00:07:52] Also if you have a motorcycle.
[00:07:56] You know, I have no gripes with you. I've never had a gripe with anybody on a motorcycle. I get it. But do not be fucking splitting the lanes during live traffic, because what are you gonna do if, like, the wind pushes my truck and you're splitting the fucking lanes? Which is illegal to do it here in Colorado and pretty much everywhere.
[00:08:15] You can filter through traffic at a red light, but, you know, you can't, you know, dive in between cars at, you know, highway speeds because it can go really bad for you really quick and then fuck up everyone's day.
[00:08:31] I get it. You want to go fast.
[00:08:33] Stop putting your life at danger because guess what? I've had plenty of friends that fucking died on motorcycles because they were being dumb.
[00:08:44] And it sucks. I'm like, oh, man.
[00:08:47] But yeah, guess what? They're. They're being fucking dumb, you know, racing around and died. Yep, that's just the shit that happens.
[00:09:02] But, yeah, I mean, if you see A truck on the road.
[00:09:07] We are under a time constraint. Just, just, you know, like kind of peel back the curtain of what happens with trucks every day. I start my day and from the moment I do my pre trip, my, you know, driver vehicle inspection report, you know, boom, hit that. I have 14 hours and my clock starts right away. I have 14 hours to finish everything up. And you're like, oh, yo, you have plenty of time to do that.
[00:09:35] Yeah, my lunch counts against that and I have to take a 30 minute lunch.
[00:09:39] So really I have 13 and a half hours to complete my entire goddamn day and I only have 11 hours to drive it. Guess what? I have, you know, 500 miles to drive.
[00:09:52] I don't, you know, if you do the math on that, I have to like pretty much stay at 50 miles an hour all day.
[00:09:59] I do not have time to be sitting behind your petty ass because you're mad that I, you know, went slow up a hill fucking carrying £30,000 and then you're like, oh, I'm scared now. Get the out of the way of trucks. Especially if you're like unfamiliar with the road and you see like a bunch of fucking people behind you. Just take a fucking exit and just get the fuck out of the way.
[00:10:25] If you're like, I'm not sure what the speed of the road is. The truck knows the speed of the road. And if a truck is tailgating you, you're going too fucking slow.
[00:10:35] You know that? That's plain and simple what it is. If a truck is on your fucking ass, get the fuck out of the way or speed the fuck up, I don't care which, just get the fuck out of the way. We have shit to do.
[00:10:49] And guess what, you know, if every truck quits, guess what, you have a week left to live.
[00:10:55] You have a week left before the riots, you know, kick in because you'll go to the grocery store and be like, oh wait, there's no gas anymore, there's no clean water anymore, there's no food anymore. Fuck. How are we supposed to do anything right? And you, you know, Amazon's gone, everything's gone.
[00:11:17] So get the out of our way, let us do our goddamn job.
[00:11:24] You know, I, I don't fucking come to your office as you're trying to copy, you know, make like copies or something for your boss and be like, oh, I need to make, make a copy of my butt really quick.
[00:11:33] You know, like that's the kind of dumb shit you guys are doing when you get in front of us and then slow the Fuck down. Or try and brake check us, you know, Guess what? You know, if we hit your fucking car at £80,000, we will turn you into a stomped fucking aluminum can.
[00:11:50] We will kill everyone in that fucking car.
[00:11:53] No doubt. We will fold a fucking truck in half.
[00:12:01] And it's insane that people like, oh, I'm gonna get in front of this truck, and, you know, brake. Check that way. We have cameras, too.
[00:12:08] All of us have cameras.
[00:12:10] We have cameras that face us. We have cameras that face you. We have so much fucking AI and data, and it just sends it straight on over. Boom, boom, boom.
[00:12:21] And all I want is for the companies to just, you know, start sending that data straight over to the police. And then that way, you know, you get, you know, a letter in the mail two weeks later. Oh, yeah, here's video footage of you doing something wildly illegal on the road. You. Here's your ticket. Dumb.
[00:12:40] And the company just, you know, gets a cutback on that. Cool.
[00:12:45] Like that. That would be a great way for truckers to make extra money. Every single trucker is a snitch.
[00:12:52] I would love that. I would snitch on people all day long. Have, like, a radar, you know, detector on my truck and have to, like, every three months, get it calibrated and make sure it's good.
[00:13:02] And you're racing in front of me, and I just, you know, push a button and it records 30 seconds back. 30 and, like, a couple minutes ahead.
[00:13:11] Yeah.
[00:13:13] Boom, boom, boom. And just record your license plate. Boom. But, yeah, I. I would probably make more money from that from fucking snitching on y', all, you know, being pieces of shit to me on the road than I would for my actual job. And I do make a substantial amount.
[00:13:29] So.
[00:13:32] Yeah, I mean, keep with us and see what the fuck happens, you know, like, that. That. That's something I'd like to get in the legislation. That'd be pretty cool to have it to where it's like, yeah, every truck with a camera can just send this into the police department. They send you a ticket, you have to fucking pay it. They got you dead to rights.
[00:13:56] And then people start, you know, behaving around. Trucks start, you know, acting right when there's consequences to their actions. I love that.
[00:14:09] And, yeah, I mean, like, trucks would snitch on each other's trucks that snitch on everybody. And it's like, anytime you see a truck, you'd act the same as if it was a cop.
[00:14:18] It's like, yeah, you don't know if they're going to fucking, you know, turn you in for speeding. But it's like they might, you know, and especially if it's an owner operator, it's like, oh cool.
[00:14:35] Dumb shits on the road paid for my gas this month. That's very nice of them.
[00:14:42] And then everyone wants to be a truck driver again.
[00:14:45] It's pretty sweet.
[00:14:51] But yeah, just be nice to truck drivers and school buses too. Like this is one of the things that blow my mind.
[00:15:01] Know the rules around school buses. If it has a stop sign out and you, you know, run past that, like I honestly believe like school bus should be, you know, have like a high definition camera that just goes pink and you know, get your license plate and this like, you know, cops just show up at your door and back. Yep, here you go. Here's your fat fucking ticket. Hopefully that was worth it. Hopefully the extra 30 seconds you saved was worth it.
[00:15:29] And like I want that ticket to be enormous. I want it to be, I want it to hurt.
[00:15:35] I want you to get that ticket back. Fuck, I can't afford this.
[00:15:47] Yeah, I don't know why. I'm like tired today.
[00:15:51] It's like Sunday. It's like a lazy Sunday. But I still have a bunch of to do.
[00:15:58] Yeah, I mean like every day I'll, I'll see more and more people that just do dumb just to piss me off, you know, if you have your brights on, turn that off. If you, if you don't know how, you know. And I like I have a new truck, I have a 20, 25 Freightliner, you know, and people like, you know, try and like flash me and be like, I'm like all right, boom. I just turn my brights on. I'm like, you want to fuck around and find out you fucked around and found out and now you have the full might of my brights in your fucking face.
[00:16:35] You know, we understand like, like as a professional driver. Yes.
[00:16:43] Now am I a professional human? No.
[00:16:47] But, but just know that do not fight with truck drivers because we might be serial killers. Like, like, you know, I, I, I heard somewhere like actually me, let me look it up because I am actually on my computer right now.
[00:17:07] What percentage of serial killers are truck drivers?
[00:17:13] There's no official statistic or percentage of how many serial killers are truck drivers. But the FBI has identified a significant patterns of homicide linked to the profession. Due to the transient nature of the job, The FBI's Highway Serial Killings Initiative HSK has compiled a database over 850 murders believed to be the work of long haul truck Drivers and they're just like, yeah, we can't find them. We have no idea.
[00:17:49] So, yeah, just. Just be nice.
[00:17:52] You never know, you might, you know, piss off the wrong. You might piss off like some old truck driver that only has three weeks left to live.
[00:18:02] You know, it's like, you know what, this guy in particular, and just, you know, comes down a hill, £80,000, you know, hits the back of your truck. Boom. That's all she wrote.
[00:18:14] Or, you know, sees you at the gas station and just pulls up, gets out of their truck and just shoots you and drives off.
[00:18:21] Like, don't. Like, road rage is intense.
[00:18:25] You know, just don't fuck around and find out. Be nice. You'll get to where you need to be eventually.
[00:18:33] And if you're like, oh, fuck, I'm late. Whose fault is that? Other than yours?
[00:18:38] You should have left earlier. You should have woken up earlier if you're like, oh, man, I need to get there now. You don't.
[00:18:47] You know, if you are running late to a meeting, give them a call.
[00:18:50] Like, they'll appreciate the courtesy. No one is like, I'm a doctor. Rape. Running to save, like, a whole orphanage of children. It's like, no.
[00:19:02] And. And here's a sad fact. This, everything.
[00:19:06] There is nobody on this planet that is so goddamn important, including myself, that if you were to be gone tomorrow, the world would stop. None of them, not a single human being on this planet.
[00:19:21] And it's like, boom.
[00:19:24] You know, that hits you. It's like, okay, yeah, just slow down.
[00:19:28] But I'll be late to work and I'll lose my job.
[00:19:32] Go get another job.
[00:19:34] Easy.
[00:19:37] And, like, annoys me. Like, people are like, oh, it's so hard to get a new job. It's so hard to do this, it's so hard to do that.
[00:19:43] Like, yeah, it is.
[00:19:46] It is very fucking difficult to, you know, make sure you get your shit taken care of if you don't give a shit.
[00:19:59] Like, you know, if you're applying for a job, open availability, like, here's really what it comes down to.
[00:20:07] Talk to the hiring manager, you know, talk. Talk to the, you know, people in charge. Like, hey, I would like a job here. I put in a resume, and then they can go look up your resume and, you know, pull it through all the filters that they fucked, you know, to be like, okay, we only want people with open availability do this, this and this. Non felons. But it's like, if the boss likes you enough, they'll just be like, okay, cool, you have a job Come in, you know, in a couple weeks for an interview.
[00:20:37] You know, we'll interview you and see if we can get you a job. Just do it.
[00:20:47] But yeah, every single day I'll like, sit in my truck and I'll start to record stuff and somebody will piss me off because I do like, voice recordings in my truck and some asshole will just be like, you know, think they're more important than everybody else, think they're the main character.
[00:21:04] You know, race around and, you know, ruin my whole day.
[00:21:08] You know, I, I start every day with like a little bit of grace. Just, I'm like, oh, yeah, come on in, come on in. You know, I'll let you in. I'll, you know, pump my brakes a little bit, you know, but after someone, you know, does something stupid, like I let them in and they like, slam on their brakes and I'm like, okay, whatever, you know, and now my grace is gone and now I have to be an asshole all day long.
[00:21:33] So, yeah, the main reason truck drivers are, is because we deal with, you know, children on the road all day long. And we're tired, we are so tired of dealing with dumb idiots that might as well be drunk.
[00:21:53] You know, it's like we don't care anymore.
[00:21:57] So.
[00:21:59] But, but that's it. We're. We're gonna, you know, these mochi. Can you stop knocking everything off my desk?
[00:22:07] I appreciate you.
[00:22:09] I love you, kitten.
[00:22:11] You're my favorite cat of all time. But you know, that, that's it. We're gonna, you know, these little, you know, solo episodes, I'm gonna keep them a bit shorter. That way it's not just me ranting for hours on end. I don't even know what I'm gonna rant about next week.
[00:22:29] You know, like, I, I just, you know, kind of press play and I just go for it.
[00:22:34] So, yeah, we'll see what happens. Maybe Toronto will be back. I. I don't know, maybe you might pop in for like a little quickie, little, you know, 15, 30 minute episode.
[00:22:43] But until then, we will see you all next. Or not next week, in two weeks. Yeah, that's why I have this, you know, set for every other week. But, you know, we'll see then.
[00:22:54] Hopefully.
[00:22:56] Yeah, it should be.
[00:22:59] Yeah, Christmas. Yeah.
[00:23:02] Yeah. Well, next y' all do something about Christmas and how Christmas is just a capitalist holiday, you know, built by Coca Cola and capitalists.
[00:23:16] I don't know. We'll figure that out. But until then, bye.
